Only in Britain... Extracts from letters written to local councils

1. It is the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

from uk.rec.humour

Pareidolia

Pareidolia a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant. Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds, the man in the moon or the Moon rabbit, and hearing hidden messages on records played in reverse.

The word comes from the Greek para- – "beside", "with", or "alongside"—meaning, in this context, something faulty or wrong (as in paraphasia, disordered speech) and eidōlon – "image"; the diminutive of eidos – "image", "form", "shape".

Pareidolia is a type of apophenia.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia

Fedora

A fedora is made of soft felt and is most recognizable by its pinched front and the crease that travels lengthwise on the crown. The brim extends out and is sometimes bent down over the eyes. Most fedora hats feature a hat band.

Fedoras first appeared in the late 1800s, however this style of hat didn’t become popular until the 1930s. Still popular today, fedoras are often associated in modern times with wealth and class. Men ranging from Humphrey Bogart to the fictional Indiana Jones are known for their fedora hats.

from http://accessories.about.com/od/hatglossary/g/fedora.htm

The History of the Bowler Hat

The bowler hat first made its appearance as the hard hat designed by James Lock and Co. of 6 St James’s Street, London, in 1850 for Sir William Coke, to give his game wardens to wear when patrolling their employer’s estate on horseback.

The Locks’ design was made up by hatters Bowler Brothers, whose family name was adopted for the new style.

The story goes that when Coke was first presented with the hat at the Locks’ premises, he threw it to the floor and stamped on it to test its hardiness, before ramming it down on his head and leaving the shop, evidently satisfied. It had cost him 12 shillings.

From http://www.icons.org.uk/theicons/collection/bowler-hat/biography/bowler-hat-finished

Mirrors & Lightning

Mirrors have long been a popular object of old wives tales. One of the more popular old wives tales concerning mirrors is that they should always be covered during a rain or lightning storm. The old wives tale says that if a mirror is not covered during a lightning storm it will attract the lightning and the house will be struck and burned down.

See full article at http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/tales62.htm

Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ral

"Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral (That's an Irish Lullaby)" is a classic Irish song originally written in 1914 by composer James Royce Shannon (1881–1946) and popularised by Bing Crosby in 1944's Going My Way.

• Thin Lizzy's song "Vagabond of the Western World" from the album Vagabonds of the Western World features this line repeatedly: Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral.
• The Dexys Midnight Runners song "Come On Eileen" features in its chorus a nonsense lyric that strongly resembles that of this song.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Ra_Loo_Ra_Loo_Ral