Tuesday, 29 June 2010

More True Family Fortunes and Other Quiz Answers

Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'.
Contestant: Doctor.
Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) ... . . Doctor.

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're ... . .?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ...?
Caller: Mohicans.

Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.

Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes bread .. .
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes cakes .. .
Contestant: Kipling Street?

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm .. .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?

Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?

Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.

Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er ... er ... three?

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.

Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?

Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico?

Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . ... what?
Contestant: Basketball.

Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .. .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now,
Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.

Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm .. .
Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

10 Office Rules

10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.

9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

8. Messy desk -- only top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

7. Voice mail -- Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

6. Look impatient and annoyed -- According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give off the impression that you're always busy.

5. Leave the office late -- Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

4. Creative sighing for effect -- Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

3. Stacking strategy -- It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor, etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

2. Build vocabulary -- Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember, they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

1. MOST IMPORTANT -- DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!

from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BritsCom/message/9341

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Attractive Andersen afeard ....

"Attractive Andersen afeard aggressive Acherontia acquiring advancing arsenal."

The above sentence is composed entirely of words that appear only once in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Monday, 21 June 2010

Top 10 Worst Student Essay Topics


The Lighter Side of Grammar & Composition

By Richard Nordquist, About.com Guide

10. OMGYG2BK: A Twitter Essay in 23 Tweets

9. How I Spent My Summer Vacation Trying to Make Up Interesting Stuff to Write About My Summer Vacation

8. Bet You Can't Tell That I Bought This Essay for 20 Bucks on EZCheat.com!

7. Creative Corporate Communications: The Bottom Line Set in Stone Outside the Box at the End of the Day

6. Poke Me on Facebook, Doc, and I Promise to Quit Stalking You

5. A Descriptive Essay About That Mushy Blue Thing on My Grandpa's Big Toe

4. Would You Still Have Become an English Major If You Knew That You'd End Up Reading Student Essays for the Rest of Your Life?

3. A Wikipedia Research Paper: How Noah and Joan of Ark Met Thomas and Weezie Jefferson in the Olive Garden of Eden

2. The Top 10 Top 10 Lists on My Top 10 Favorite Websites

1. When You Say "Compose a 500 Word Essay," Do You Mean 500 Different Words, or Can We Repeat the Same Word Over and Over and Over--and Do the Words in the Title Count?

From http://grammar.about.com/od/topicsuggestions/a/worstessaytopics.htm?nl=1

Thursday, 17 June 2010


bodge, v. — To improvise in the repairing or construction of material objects, often employing work man ship or materials of a less than satisfactory standard.

A British slang term, the Oxford English Dictionary links it to botch, in the sense of repairing some thing badly. Its most common use is probably for home repairs or otherwise indifferently per formed “do it your self” projects.

Originally a Bodger was a pole lathe worker, who made wooden goods from green wood, such as chair legs or candle sticks. These hand made chair legs were not of a lesser standard, and would be sold on to furniture factories for assembly. This craft industry still exists, although not to service the mass production furniture industry.

It can be generally used as a synonym for hack or kludge.

From http://sunblu.sh/2006/08/good-old-british-bodging

Saturday, 12 June 2010


The cheroot or stogie is a cylindrical cigar with both ends clipped during manufacture. Since cheroots do not taper, they are inexpensive to roll mechanically, and their low cost makes them particularly popular.

The term stogie is often misused to refer to any cigar with a foul stench, or as slang, to a cigarette.

Many stogies are made of flavored tobaccos, and given that a stogie may last a half hour, as opposed to the 2–8 minutes that a cigarette typically lasts, there can be quite a pungent and pervasive aroma produced.

The word stogie is short for Conestoga. The cigar was the smoke of choice for teamsters driving Conestoga wagons in the cigar-making Conestoga valley area around Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  


Tuesday, 8 June 2010

"Elementary, my dear Watson" and other Famous Misquotations

"Elementary, my dear Watson" - Sherlock Holmes

This phrase was never uttered by the character in any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's written works. Though "Elementary," and "...my dear Watson." both do appear near the beginning of The Crooked Man (1893), it is the "...my dear Watson" that appears first, and "Elementary" is the succinct reply to Watson's exclamation a few lines of dialogue later. This is the closest these four immortal words ever appear together in the canon.

The association of this quote with the Sherlock Holmes character likely comes from the closing lines of the 1929 film The Return of Sherlock Holmes.

"The end justifies the means" - Machiavelli

Attributed to the political theorist Niccolo Machiavelli's work The Prince. The line is actually from a book in which a fictional Machiavelli is a character.

"Play it again, Sam" - Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca)

Actual quote: "Play it Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'."

"My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

This famous line is spoken by Tom Hanks, playing Forrest Gump in the 1994 film of the same name. However, in Winston Groom's original novel, the "box of chocolates" line is rather different: "Bein' an idiot ain't no box of chocolates." Groom reportedly dislikes the change.

See more at http://www.2spare.com/item_92868.aspx

Friday, 4 June 2010


SOS is the commonly used description for the international Morse code distress signal (· · · — — — · · ·).

This distress signal was first adopted by the German government in radio regulations effective April 1, 1905, and became the worldwide standard under the second International Radiotelegraphic Convention, which was signed on November 3, 1906 and became effective on July 1, 1908. SOS remained the maritime radio distress signal until 1999, when it was replaced by the Global Maritime Distress Safety System. SOS is still recognized as a visual distress signal.

From the beginning, the SOS distress signal has actually consisted of a continuous sequence of three-dits/three-dahs/three-dits, all run together without letter spacing. In International Morse Code, three dits form the letter S, and three dahs make the letter O, so "SOS" became an easy way to remember the correct order of the dits and dahs. In modern terminology, SOS is a Morse "procedural signal" or "prosign", and the formal way to write it is with a bar above the letters.

In popular usage, SOS became associated with phrases such as "save our ship" or "save our souls". These were a later development, most likely used to help remember the correct letters (a backronym). As the SOS signal is a prosign, its respective letters have no inherent meaning per se, it was simply chosen due to it being easy to remember.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SOS</SPAN< span>

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Top 20 Western Movie Themes


1. A Man With Harmonica ( Once Upon A Time In West -1968) by Ennio Morricone

2. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966) by Ennio Morricone

3. Once Upon A Time in West (1968) by Ennio Morricone

4. For a Few Dollars More (1965) by Ennio Morricone

5. High Noon (1952) by Dimitri Tiomkin

6. A Fistful of Dollars (1964) by Ennio Morricone

7. Unforgiven (1992) by Lennie Niehaus

8. The Magnificent Seven (1960) by Elmer Bernstein

9. Rio Bravo (1959) by Dimitri Tiomkin

10. Johny Guitar (1954) by Victor Young

11. How The West Was Won (1962) by Alfred Newman

12. My Name Is Nobody (1973) by Ennio Morricone

13. Wand'rin' Star - Paint Your Wagon (1969) by Frederick Loewe and Nelson Riddle

14. The Assassination of Jesse James by Coward Robert Ford (2007) by Nick Cave Warren Ellis

15.Alamo (1960) by Dimitri Tiomkin

16. Comancheros (1961) by Elmer Bernstein

17. The Big Country (1958) by Jerome Moross

18. Ride the High Country (1962) by George Bassman

19. Dances with Wolves (1990) by John Barry

20. Wyatt Earp (1994) by James Newton Howard

from http://www.most-wanted-western-movies.com/western_movie_themes.html