Here we present a couple of versions of the classic Cockney alphabet. As taught to me by my grandfather. Teach it to your kids, it'll make them grow up to be well-rounded, learned individuals who can get along in any social situation.    
A for Horses (or A fer Gardener - thanks David Campbell)    
B for Mutton     
C for Miles (or Seaforth Highlanders - thanks Geoff Firth)     
D for Kate (or D fer Ential)     
E for Brick     
F for Lump (or F fer Vescence)     
G for Police (or G for Get It)     
H for Consent (or H for Bless You)     
I for Novello (or I for the Engine)     
J for Nice Time (or J for Oranges)     
K for Restaurant     
L for Leather     
M for Cream (or M for Sis)     
N for Lope     
O for the Wings of a Dove (O for the Rainbow)     
P for Relief     
Q for the Loos     
R for Mo (or R fer English - thanks David Campbell)     
S for you, you can take a hike (or S for Rantzen)     
T for Gums (or T for Two)     
U for Me (or U for Mism - thanks Andrew W Llewellyn)     
V for Espana     
W for a Quid (or W for the Winnings)     
X for Breakfast     
Y for Mistress     
Zee for Moiles (or Z for Wind)
 
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