Swine Flu British Government Advice FAQ

Q. What’s is swine flu?
A. It’s a new strain of flu, that may develop into a pandemic.

Q. Is this likely to develop into the end of the world?
A. CERTAINLY NOT! Remain calm, this is not Hamageddon.

Q. What should I do if a major outbreak hits the UK?
A. Simple… Dress like Whacko Jacko at an airport and don a face mask.

Q. I hear there is a rash associated with the illness how should I treat it?
A. Get to a chemist quick as you can and buy some Oink-ment

Q. Is it safe to eat pork?
A. Yes! Swine flu is a respiratory infection, just try not to inhale any fumes from your bacon sandwich.

Q. Are politicians more like to develop the illness?
A. No! But they are very susceptible to infections like lying swine flu.

Q. Will many Brits die?
A. Solidly built British geezers will survive anything, only weedy Quiche eating salad munchers should be concerned.

from uk.rec.humour

Structure of the Roman Army

The Roman army was broken down into different groups to have a clear chain of command during battle.

The smallest unit was the conturbenium, which was a group of eight soldiers. These men marched together and shared a tent or a room at a fort. Ten conturbenium made up a century (only eighty men on average) which was commanded by a centurion. Six centuries would be combined to make up a cohort. Then ten Cohorts would be combined to make up a legion or about 6,000 men.

The first cohort of the legion was usually twice the size of a normal cohort, and had the best soldiers in it. The legion, all of which was infantry, was the backbone of the Roman army. "Each legion contained four lines, or groups, of soldiers. The front line soldier was the velites, who was trained to throw spears at the enemy. Behind the velites was the hastatus and the preinceps. These soldiers did most of the fighting. They had light armor and used swords. The last line was the triarius, who wore heavy armor". In addition to the legionaries, auxiliary cohorts of cavalry or specialists such as archers, would also be part of the unit.

See http://historylink102.com/Rome/roman-army-structure.htm

The Origin of Mayday

Our modern celebration of Mayday as a working class holiday evolved from the struggle for the eight hour day in 1886. May 1, 1886 saw national strikes in the United States and Canada for an eight hour day called by the Knights of Labour. In Chicago police attacked striking workers killing six.

The next day at a demonstration in Haymarket Square to protest the police brutality a bomb exploded in the middle of a crowd of police killing eight of them. The police arrested eight anarchist trade unionists claiming they threw the bombs. To this day the subject is still one of controversy. The question remains whether the bomb was thrown by the workers at the police or whether one of the police's own agent provocateurs dropped it in their haste to retreat from charging workers.

In what was to become one of the most infamous show trials in America in the 19th century, but certainly not to be the last of such trials against radical workers, the State of Illinois tried the anarchist workingmen for fighting for their rights as much as being the actual bomb throwers. Whether the anarchist workers were guilty or innocent was irrelevant. They were agitators, fomenting revolution and stirring up the working class, and they had to be taught a lesson.

Albert Parsons, August Spies, George Engle and Adolph Fischer were found guilty and executed by the State of Illinois.

In Paris in 1889 the International Working Men's Association (the First International) declared May 1st an international working class holiday in commemoration of the Haymarket Martyrs. The red flag became the symbol of the blood of working class martyrs in their battle for workers rights.

Mayday, which had been banned for being a holiday of the common people, had been reclaimed once again for the common people.

See http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/5202/mayday.htm?20095

Victorinox or Wenger?

Swiss Army Knife - Victorinox or Wenger?

Elsener, through his company Victorinox, managed to corner the market until 1893, when the second industrial cutler of Switzerland, Paul Boechat & Cie, headquartered in Delémont in the French-speaking region of Jura, started selling a similar product. This company was later acquired by its then General Manager, Theodore Wenger, and renamed the Wenger Company.

In 1908 the Swiss government, wanting to prevent an issue over regional favouritism, but perhaps wanting a bit of competition in hopes of lowering prices, split the contract with Victorinox and Wenger, each getting half of the orders placed. By mutual agreement, Wenger advertises as the Genuine Swiss Army Knife and Victorinox uses the slogan the Original Swiss Army Knife. However, on April 26, 2005, Victorinox acquired Wenger, thus once again becoming the sole supplier of knives to the Swiss Army. However, on the consumer side Victorinox has stated that it intends to keep both brands intact.

In 2006, Wenger produced a knife with 85 devices and 110 functions to commemorate Wenger's 100th anniversary in the Swiss Army knife business. The Giant, as it's called, is a novelty collector's item that is nearly 9 inches thick, and retails for about U.S. $1200 (See complete list of implements, p.4).

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swiss_Army_knife

Mapping the Seven Deadly Sins

Last month, the Las Vegas Sun reported on an unusual study in which researchers attempted to map the distribution of the seven deadly sins. Researchers primarily looked at Nevada, which for some unexplained reason is associated with sin, but the maps they put together for the U.S. as a whole are far more interesting, particularly the maps showing standard deviations from the mean. They arrived at these maps by finding a statistical stand-in for each sin:

• envy is represented by thefts,
• wrath by violent crime,
• lust by the rate of sexually transmitted diseases,
• gluttony by the number of fast food restaurants per capita, and so on,
• with pride as the aggregate of the other six.

The Sun calls it “a precision party trick — rigorous mapping of ridiculous data.” More fun than useful. Via Catholicgauze.

See http://www.mcwetboy.net/maproom/2009/04/mapping_the_sev.php

Egg War

The Egg War is the name given to an 1863 conflict between rival egging companies on the Farallon Islands, 25 miles off San Francisco. It was the culmination of several years of tension between the (Pacific) Egg Company, which claimed the right to collect the eggs on the islands, and several rival firms. The resulting violence claimed two lives, but left the Egg Company in sole control of the islands' eggs. Its victory was short lived; the company sold the rights to use the islands in the late 1870s and the federal government removed all egging companies from the islands in 1881.

See http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_history/84496.html

Longest name for a person

The award for the longest name for a person belongs to a German immigrant to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The name he was given at birth, and which somehow fit on his passport was:

(First and "middle" names)
Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvim John Kenneth Loyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor Willian Xerxes Yancy Zeus

(Last name)
Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaf
tschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschut
zenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolf
tausendjahresvorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraums
chiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefah
rthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelshegeha
btbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevanver
standigmenshlichkeittkonntevortpflanzenundsicherfreunanleben
slamdlichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandere
rintlligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum

Senior

In case you didn't notice, he has one given name for every letter of the alphabet plus his surname. Needless to say, he shortened it, and was commonly known as Mr. Hubert Wolfe, though officially it was said that he signed his name Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr.

See http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1534419