Why?

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
• If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?
• Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not in a sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the fridge with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a piece of cotton a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead insects get into those enclosed light fittings?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'  Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
• And my FAVOURITE...... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're ok, then it's you.

from uk.rec.humour