The 10 rules of detective fiction …

In 1928, theologian and mystery writer Ronald Knox codified 10 rules of detective fiction:

1. The criminal must be mentioned in the early part of the story, but must not be anyone whose thoughts the reader has been allowed to know.
2. All supernatural or preternatural agencies are ruled out as a matter of course.
3. Not more than one secret room or passage is allowable.
4. No hitherto undiscovered poisons may be used, nor any appliance which will need a long scientific explanation at the end.
5. No Chinaman must figure in the story.
6. …

See full list at http://www.futilitycloset.com/2012/03/29/ten-commandments/

The police rang me today ...

The police rang me today to say they've recovered my stolen sofa.

Which I thought was nice of them.

It was starting to look a bit scruffy.

from uk.rec.humour

New York City's largest candy store

M&M's World in Times Square is New York City's largest candy store, and offers merchandise such as themed clothing, dishware, watches, and piggy banks.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%26M%27s_World

Narrow Words

What’s the longest “narrow” word — the longest word whose handwritten letters keep tidily to the middle of the line?

Dmitri Borgmann considered this question in 1965 and came up with overnervousnesses and ....

See full list at http://www.futilitycloset.com/2011/12/13/attenuated-language/

Jack Crawford on Gratitude

"Here's some free advice. Use Senator Martin. Let her tell you how grateful she is, let her hand you the markers. Do it soon. Gratitude has a short half-life. You'll need her one of these days, the way you act."

From Silence of the Lambs, by Thomas Harris

Dots in the Margin

When I come across something I really like in a book, I put a little dot in the margin. Not a check, not a double line—these would be pedantic—but a single, nearly invisible tap or nudge of the pen-tip that could almost be a dark flick in the paper.

I also write the numbers of the marked pages in the back. Then—and this is the most important part—at some later date, sometimes years later, I refer to the page numbers, locate the dots, and copy in a spiral-bound notebook the passages that have awaited my return.

From http://marksinthemargin.blogspot.com/2011/03/dots-in-margin.html

Island Fever

A psychological illness that usually affects poor people found in Hawaii and other islands.

Island Fever is the realization that you are stuck on which ever island you are living and not going anywhere.

From http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=island%20fever

Zamboni

A Zamboni is a truck-like vehicle or smaller device used to clean and smooth the surface of an ice rink.

The first ice resurfacer was developed by Frank J. Zamboni in 1949 in the city of Paramount, California.

Zamboni (pronounced /zæmˈboʊni/) is an internationally registered trademark, though the term is often used as a generic colloquialism for ice resurfacing vehicles.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_resurfacer

Funny?

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that....2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown’

How to Tie a Scarf

General Rules

1. Keep it simple – only tie knots you are comfortable wearing–confidence is everything.
2. Scarf length & thickness can limit knot style options.
3. A scarf isn’t a necktie–keep it loose.
4. Function first–fashion second.  Unless you’re a rock star or The Style Blogger.  Dan knows how to rock a scarf!

Ways to Tie a Scarf

1. The Drape, or The Simplest Way To Wear A Scarf
2. Overhand Knot (or Ascot)
3. The Fake Knot
4. The Once Round
5. The Twice Round
6. The “Parisian” or French or European Knot

See full article at http://artofmanliness.com/2012/02/23/mans-guide-scarf/