Ornament

In music, ornaments are musical flourishes that are not necessary to carry the overall line of the melody (or harmony), but serve instead to decorate or "ornament" that line. Many ornaments are performed as "fast notes" around a central note.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ornament_(music)

In architecture and decorative art, ornament is a decoration used to embellish parts of a building or object. Architectural ornament can be carved from stone, wood or precious metals, formed with plaster or clay, or impressed onto a surface as applied ornament; in other applied arts the main material of the object, or a different one may be used.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ornament_(architecture)

Tuxedo

The evening dress for men now popularly known as a tuxedo takes its name from Tuxedo Park, where it was said to have been worn for the first time in the United States, by Griswald Lorillard at the annual Autumn Ball of the Tuxedo Club founded by Pierre Lorillard IV, and thereafter became popular for formal dress in America.

It became known as the tuxedo when a fellow asked another at the Autumn Ball, "Why does that man's jacket not have coattails on it?" The other answered, "He is from Tuxedo Park." The first gentleman misinterpreted and told all of his friends that he saw a man wearing a jacket without coattails called a tuxedo, not from Tuxedo. This all took place at The Autumn ball, which still exists today.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_tie

White's Green (Blue?) Tree Frog

The Australian Green Tree Frog, simply Green Tree Frog in Australia, White's Tree Frog, or Dumpy Tree Frog (Litoria caerulea) is a species of tree frog native to Australia and New Guinea, with introduced populations in New Zealand and the United States. The species belongs to the genus Litoria. It is physiologically similar to some species of the genus, particularly the Magnificent Tree Frog (Litoria splendida) and the Giant Tree Frog (Litoria infrafrenata).

The Green Tree Frog is a large species compared with most Australian frogs, reaching 10 centimetres in length. The average lifespan of the frog in captivity, about sixteen years, is long in comparison with most frogs. Green Tree Frogs are docile and well suited to living near human dwellings. They are often found on windows or inside houses, eating insects drawn by the light.

Due to its physical and behavioural traits, the Green Tree Frog has become one of the most recognisable frogs in its region, and is a popular exotic pet throughout the world. The skin secretions of the frog have antibacterial and antiviral properties that may prove useful in pharmaceutical preparations.

The common name of the species, "White's Tree Frog", is in honour of the first person to describe the species, John White. The Green Tree Frog was the first Australian frog scientifically classified. The species was originally called the "blue frog" (Rana caerulea); although the Green Tree Frog is green, the original specimens White sent to England were damaged by the preservative and appeared blue. This is because the colour of the frog is caused by blue and green pigments covered in a yellow layer. The preservative destroyed the yellow layer and left the frog with a blue appearance. The specific epithet, caerulea, which is Latin for blue, has remained the same. The frog is also known more simply as the "Green Tree Frog." However, that name is often given to the most common large green tree frog in a region, for example, the American green tree frog (Hyla cinerea).

From Pocket Wikipedia, http://www.free-soft.ro/pocket-wikipedia/

What did thought do?

"You know what thought did? He didn't do anything - he just thought he did."

A piece of nonsense which basically points out the futility of thinking that something has been done without actually going and assuring oneself that it has in fact been done. So for example

"The basement's flooded!"

"But I thought I turned the faucet off..."

"Well, you know what thought did."

See http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/13/messages/1490.html

He buried a feather and thought it would grow a chicken

He pi***d in bed and thought he was sweating.

He pi***d on his head and thought it was raining.

He followed a muck-cart and thought it was a wedding

See http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Question356971.html

Pontefract cake

Pontefract cakes (also known as Pomfret cakes and Pomfrey cakes) are a type of small, roughly circular black sweet measuring approximately 2 cm in diameter and 4 mm thick, made of liquorice, originally manufactured in the Yorkshire town of Pontefract, England.

The original name for these small tablets of liquorice is a "Pomfret" cake, after the old Norman name for Pontefract. However, that name has fallen into disuse and they are now almost invariably labelled "Pontefract cakes".

Originally, the sweets were embossed by hand with a stamp, to form their traditional look, but now they are machinery formed. The embossed stamp was originally a stylised image of Pontefract Castle.

The liquorice root used in these cakes was exported to Australia for the first time by a member of the famous Carter family who hailed from Pontefract.

Healthcare professionals have warned against overindulgence on Pontefract Cakes after a 56 year old woman was admitted to hospital after overdosing on the confectionery.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pontefract_Cakes

US Government Advice on the Swine Flu Pandemic

My fellow Americans, our country faces a deadly threat and we must prepare ourselves to meet this threat.

To minimise the spread of Swine flu, please buy at least 2 weeks worth of provisions and store them in your home. Buy canned food, bottled water, flash light batteries and also panic buy as much duck tape as you can possibly lay your hands on.

If you don’t already have a secret nuclear bunker in your back yard located under the swimming pool, now might be a good time to consider having one installed. I also urge you to panic buy as much gasoline as possible. Keep you car task full, so you can evacuate the area at a moments notice. Please also keep an emergency supply of gasoline in a 50 gallon drum in the basement of your home.

Use the duck tape to seal the doors and windows of your house (assuming you don’t have a secret nuclear bunker) This will help to stop germs from entering your home.

Listen to the radio and keep the supply of extra flash light batteries near it. Wait for the all clear to be broadcast and stay inside until it is.

Under no circumstances should you go outside or start to riot. Please do not use the 50 gallon drum of gasoline to make Molotov cocktails. You should not attempt to purify your neighbourhood by burning down the houses of suspected swine flu victims.

Thank you for cooperation.

US Government Plague Control Committee

from uk.rec.humour

Fun Practical Jokes to Play at Work

Having trouble getting through the workday without falling asleep at your desk?

Here are a few pranks that are sure to liven up the cube farm.

(NOTE: Don't be stupid enough to actually try any of the items below, or you'll find yourself in jail, in the hospital, or, even worse, in the unemployment line!)

1. Change the settings in a coworker's word processing software so that any instance of the letter "x" is auto-corrected to read "xxx."
2. Introduce the new intern by a different name to each person he/she meets.
3. Tear a few graphic pages out of an adult magazine, slip them into an assistant's large photocopying job.
4. Babble incoherently to a co-worker then ask, "Did you get all of that?"
5. TP the VP's office...while he/she is in the room and on a conference call.
6. Post a fake memo on the office bulletin board announcing Friday as "You're the Boss" Day, where all employees are to come into work dressed as a member of upper management.
7. Pass around a sheet of paper asking other staff members if they'll sponsor a co-worker in a spelling bee for dyslexics.
8. Wander the halls, slapping your head repeatedly and mutter, "Will you please shut up?"
9. Wrap plastic wrap over the urinals in the executive washroom.
10. Turn off the receptionist's ringer.
11. Pretend you work at a collection agency during your lunch hour. Call your imaginary clients and loudly threaten bodily injury if they don't "pay up."
12. Tape a piece of toilet paper to your shoe--the longer, the better--and do a few laps around the cube farm and through the cafeteria.

See http://www.tbs.com/stories/story/0,,49915,00.html