Vampire numbers

The vampire numbers were introduced by Clifford A. Pickover in 1994.

Definitions:

A vampire number is a number which can be written as a product of two numbers (called fangs), containing the same digits the same number of times as the vampire number. Example:

        1827000 = 210 · 8700

A true vampire number is a vampire number which can be written with two fangs having the same number of digits and not both ending in 0.

Example:

        1827 = 21 · 87

All vampire numbers (or just vampires) on the rest of this page are implicitly true. They must clearly have an even number of digits.

A prime vampire number (introduced by Carlos Rivera in 2002) is a true vampire number where the fangs are the prime factors.

The 7 vampires with 4 digits:

1260=21 · 60, 1395=15 · 93, 1435=35 · 41, 1530=30 · 51, 1827=21 · 87, 2187=27 · 81, 6880=80 · 86

The 5 prime vampires with 6 digits:

117067 = 167 · 701, 124483 = 281 · 443, 146137 = 317 · 461, 371893 = 383 · 971, 536539 = 563 · 953

See http://hjem.get2net.dk/jka/math/vampires

StExBar

The ultimate tool for Windows Explorer.

The StExBar provides many useful commands for your everyday use of Windows explorer.

And you can add as many custom commands on your own as you like.

Windows Freeware at http://tools.tortoisesvn.net/

Official Police Blotter

Buffalo, New York region:

A female on Main Street believed that her cupcakes had been poisoned because she was fatigued and had a dry mouth.

A one-legged turkey was reportedly in the middle of Willow Ridge Drive. The complainant said the bird was unable to move to the side, but it chased the patrol car that responded.

A person called from Niagara Falls Boulevard to report that a woman was beating on her own car.

Police charged a 21-year-old East Aurora man with leaving the scene of an accident after police received a call of an explosion on Ellicott Road. When they arrived, they found a 20-year-old East Aurora man on the side of the road. He told police he was riding in the back of his friend's pickup truck when he heard something that sounded like an M-80. He said he stood up, lost his balance and fell off the back of the truck.

On Northwood Drive a complaint was made about two males selling magazines. They said they weren't selling anything, just practicing to be attorneys.

A 911 hang-up call was investigated on Bridlewood Drive. A child called because he was hungry. His parents were advised.

A woman called police from a Main Street address because a man was snoring in front of the TV. Reportedly she was intoxicated and was going to wait for police outside. The report didn't indicate the man and woman's relationship to each other.

Police responded to a call on Amberwood Drive in which a woman reported receiving statements for banks she didn't belong to. She was advised it was just junk mail.

Police were called about a highly intoxicated male, who was in town for the Bills game, and was lying in Transit Road. The man called his girlfriend, saying he was in the back of a truck, being driven around by unknown people.

A shopper reported that while she was waiting for the cab driver to load her groceries at a store on Sheridan Drive, two older ladies came by and took half of her things and she didn't discover it until she got home. The call was cancelled when her husband located the groceries.

Police were called to a dispute on Creekside Drive where a 15-year-old girl was out of control. The mother controlled the situation by sitting on the daughter.

A Tonawanda man on a motorcycle struck a parked car. Upon police arrival, the driver was sitting on top of his motorcycle and smelled like alcohol. When asked if he had been drinking, he replied, "Way too much."

A patrol stopped a vehicle believed to have been involved in a larceny on Center Road. The driver had several items for which he had no receipts in his car, including a bag of ham, two cases of Ramen noodles, a package of beef tenderloin and two onions. The suspect also had a marijuana joint in the ash tray of his car.

A woman reportedly left her purse in her unlocked vehicle as she used a restroom in Ellicott Creek Park. After she returned to her vehicle and drove away, she realized her purse was missing. When she returned to the park later that evening she was chased away by skunks.

A woman reportedly parked her vehicle on Hamilton Road overnight and when she returned, it had been covered in marshmallow fluff, bologna and mustard.

On Foxberry Drive a resident complained about a substance, possibly paint, on the complainant's 2006 Cobalt. Police reported it was goose droppings.

A Lexington Green man befriended a woman who called herself "Jasmine" while at a bar on Elmwood Avenue. He brought her home and the two were talking and having beers when she offered to make him a mixed drink. She prepared the drink and then reportedly kept nagging him to "guzzle it down." He finished the drink and passed out within 15 minutes. When he awoke around 10 the next morning, he found the following items missing from his residence: a laptop computer, cell phone, CD player, Coach watch and hooded sweatshirt.

A white male with gray hair filled two plastic bags with various merchandise at Rite-Aid on Seneca Street and fled without paying. The stolen merchandise included skin care products, an electric razor, two at-home cocaine drug tests, two bottles of Advil and 11 packages of razor blades.

Emergency responders were called to Crosspointe Parkway where one person was bleeding from stitches and another passed out from seeing the blood.

from alt.usage.english

Longest entry in the OED

For Longest entry in the OED many years the verb to set has been cited as the longest entry in the OED. But a recheck shows that it has at last been toppled from this position. The longest entry in the revised matter is represented by the verb to make (published in June 2000). However, it is quite possible that set will regain its long-held position at the top of the league of long words when it comes itself to be revised.

In ranking order, the longest entries currently in the online Third Edition of the OED are: make (verb - revised), set (verb), run (verb), take (verb), go (verb), pre- (revised), non- (revised), over- (revised), stand (verb), red, and then point (the noun - revised).

See http://www.oed.com/news/revisions.html

Numbers give meanings

One sided : partial, unfair

One way : requiring no reciprocal action

First aid : emergency treatment before the regular medical

treatment available

One-off : only happening once

One-horse town : a small, old fashioned and boring town

One-liner : a short joke, a funny remark

First footer : the first person to enter a house in the New Year

Second banana : a person in a subservient position

Two-faced : double-dealing, false

Two-way street : situation, depends on co-operation of two people

Three-ring circus : a confused situation due to too much activity

Third party :someone who is not one of the two main people

Fourth dimension : time

Four-eyes : one who wears glasses

Four-flusher : someone who cheats others

Fifth column : a group of people who work secretly for the enemy

Fifth wheel : one who is superfluous, unnecessary or burdensome

To take five : to stop working for a few minutes

At sixes and sevens : in utter confusion or disorder

In seventh heaven : to be supremely happy

Behind the eighth ball : in a highly disadvantageous or dangerous position

On cloud nine : to be extremely happy

Dressed (up) to the nines : wearing the best or most formal clothes

Ten to one chance : very probably

Be ten a penny : a dime a dozen, to be very common, not unusual

Ten-strike : a stroke of great success, a very profitable bargain

Eleventh hour : at the last possible moment, just in time

Talk nineteen to the dozen : to talk very quickly and without stopping

Forty winks : a short sleep, esp. after dinner

Go fifty-fifty : share the cost of something equally

Hundreds of : a lot of

Wife in a thousand : a perfect wife

Look like a million dollars : to look very attractive

On somebody’s last legs : to be very ill, likely to die soon

Sere http://learnspeakingenglish.blogspot.com/2008/08/numbers-give-meanings.html

Wotcher!

Meaning - Hey there!

A form of greeting, rather more familiar to Victorian schoolboys than anyone more contemporary. Harks back to a time when “cock” meant something like “mate”, but nowadays marching into a bar and greeting someone with “Wotcher, cock!” is unlikely to make you more popular.

See http://english2american.com/dictionary/w.html

White Wine

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache,  dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

from uk.rec.humour

Dutch Auction

A Dutch auction is a type of auction where the auctioneer begins with a high asking price which is lowered until some participant is willing to accept the auctioneer's price, or a predetermined reserve price (the seller's minimum acceptable price) is reached. The winning participant pays the last announced price. This is also known as a "clock auction" or an open-outcry descending-price auction.

This type of auction is convenient when it is important to auction goods quickly, since a sale never requires more than one bid. Theoretically, the bidding strategy and results of this auction are equivalent to those in a Sealed first-price auction.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_auction

The leading world language

English is said to be dropping its role of being the leading international language of the world. Estimates say that the 9 per cent it held has now dropped to 5 per cent.

They say that by 2050 Chinese may become the leading world language because China’s growing economic power will force the rest of the world to take a closer look at China and that means a study of the Chinese language.

See http://www.dailynews.lk/2008/05/06/fea01.asp

TXTL-60 and Safe Anti-Theft Classifications

Anti-theft classifications help the consumer understand how difficult it is to break into a safe. The letters in the classification refer to the types of tools used to try to crack the safe during testing. TL refers to tools such as hand tools or drills (see "TL-15" below for a complete list of tools), TRTL refers to the aforementioned tools as well as torches, and TXTL refers to those same tools, torches, and explosives. A safe with a TXTL rating, then, offers superior protection against all types of theft devices.

Following the letters in the classification, are numbers, which denote the minimum amount of time in minutes the safe is theft-proof. A classification of TRTL-30 indicates the safe cannot be broken into with torches or other tools (see "TL-15" below for the complete list of devices used in testing) for a period of fifteen minutes of continuous active attempts. Keep in mind that while stronger often means better, the average consumer does not need an explosives-resistant safe for normal home use. For fire protection, however, refer to the fire-resistant rating guide further down.

TL-15

The TL-15 rated safe has a combination lock and resists break-in for up to 15 minutes using hand tools, picking tools, mechanical or portable electric tools, grinding points, carbide drills, and pressure-applying devices. (TL= Tool Resistant)

TL-30

The TL-30 rated safe has a combination lock and resists break-in for 30 minutes with all the tools mentioned for the TL-15.

TRTL-30

The TRTL-30 rated safe has all the same capabilities as the TL-30 with the added protection against oxy-fuel and gas-cutting or welding torches. (TRTL= Torch Resistant and Tool Resistant)

TRTL-60

The TRTL-60 rated safe provides all the protection of the TRTL-30 but resists break-in for an additional 30 minutes.

TXTL-60

The TXTL-60 rated safe offers all the capabilities of the TRTL-60 with the additional protection against explosives. (TXTL=Torch, Tool, and Explosives Resistant)

See http://vaultandsafe.com/safe_ratings_classifications.shtml

Skitt's law

Skitt's Law is an adage in Internet culture that originated on Usenet. Its precise wording is a matter of debate, but its general intent is that someone who corrects another's grammar or spelling mistake is bound to make such a mistake in the very post that makes the correction. In one phrasing, "Spelling or grammar flames always contain spelling or grammar errors."

Some view the law as a curse. Many cases could be explained through the psychoanalytical concept of parapraxis, or Freudian slip: writers who are over-anxious to assert themselves by correcting other people's mistakes express their own repressed insecurity by committing similar mistakes themselves.

See http://confiteminidomino.blogspot.com/2007/01/skitts-law.html

The Witchcraft Act

In 1944, Helen Duncan was the last person to be jailed under the Witchcraft Act, on the grounds that she had pretended to summon spirits. It is often contested that her imprisonment was in fact at the behest of superstitious Intelligence officers who feared she would reveal the secret plans for D-Day. She came to the attention of the authorities after supposedly contacting a sailor of HMS Barham whose sinking was hidden from the general public at the time. She spent nine months in prison.

Although Duncan has been frequently described as the last person to be convicted under the Act, in fact Jane Rebecca Yorke was convicted under the Act later that same year.

The last threatened use of the Act against a medium was in 1950.

In 1951 the last Witchcraft Act was repealed with the enactment of the Fraudulent Mediums Act 1951, largely at the instigation of Spiritualists through the agency of Thomas Brooks M.P.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witchcraft_Act

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn , how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... ;'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

from uk.rec.humour

HG Wells

Herbert George Wells (September 21, 1866 – August 13, 1946), better known as H. G. Wells, was an English writer best known for such science fiction novels as The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man and The Island of Doctor Moreau.

He was a prolific writer of both fiction and non-fiction, and produced works in many different genres, including contemporary novels, history, and social commentary. He was also an outspoken socialist. His later works become increasingly political and didactic, and only his early science fiction novels are widely read today. Wells, along with Hugo Gernsback and Jules Verne, is sometimes referred to as "The Father of Science Fiction".

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._G._Wells

Mole Day

Mole Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated among chemists in North America on October 23, between 6:02 AM and 6:02 PM, making the date 6:02 10/23 in the American style of writing dates. The time and date are derived from the Avogadro constant, which is approximately 6.022×1023, defining the number of particles (atoms or molecules) in a mole, one of the seven base SI units.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_Day

Dr Who's Tardis

Police boxes disappeared quite soon after Dr Who started - certainly some time during the first run of the show. It was explained then that the camouflage circuits of the Tardis had malfunctioned, so that it could no longer change its appearance.

The main purpose of police boxes, although they could be used by the public to make emergency calls, was to enable police officers to check in with their station. They therefore became superfluous when the police acquired personal radios, which was long before cell/mobile phones.

from alt.usage.english

Red Porphyry and Napoleon's Tomb

Within Les Invalides is the final resting place of Napoleon Bonaparte.

The former emperor's body was returned to France from St Helena in 1840 and, after a state funeral, was laid to rest in St Jerome's Chapel while his tomb was completed in 1861.

There was no expense spared for the tomb and Napoleon Bonaparte's body lies within six separate coffins. They are made of iron, mahogany, two of lead, ebony, and the outer one is red porphyry.

The tomb sits on a green-granite pedestal surrounded by 12 pillars of victory.

See http://www.napoleonguide.com/tours_naptomb.htm

... the clocks were striking thirteen.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

The first line of 1984, by George Orwell

Pick up tha' Musket

It occurred on the evening before Waterloo,

And troops were lined up on parade,

The Sergeant inspecting 'em he was a terror,

Of whom every man was afraid

All excepting one man who was in the front rank,

A man by the name of Sam Small,

And 'im and the Sergeant were both 'daggers drawn',

They thought 'nowt' of each other at all

As Sergeant walked past he was swinging his arms,

And he happened to brush against Sam,

And knocking his musket clean out of his hand,

It fell to the ground with a slam

'Pick it up' said Sergeant, abrupt like but cool,

But Sam with a shake of his head,

'Seeing as tha' knocked it out of me hand,

P'raps tha'll pick the thing up instead.

'Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,'

The Sergeant exclaimed with a roar,

Sam said 'Tha' knocked it doon, reet! then tha'll pick it oop,

Or it'll stay where it is on't floor

See the full version at  http://homepage.ntlworld.com/michaelanthony.keating/Stanley_Holloway/Old_Sam/old_sam.html

John o' Groats

John o' Groats is a village in the Highland council area of Scotland. The village has two bars, a fire station, post office, sports park and many gift shops around the harbour area.

The punctuation and capitalisation in John o' Groats is the correct form. The space after o' appears to vary but was probably the correct older form.

The town takes its name from Jan de Groot, a Dutchman who obtained a grant for the ferry from the Scottish mainland to Orkney, recently acquired from Norway, from King James IV in 1496.

Not the most northern village... but the northerly end of the longest distance between two points on the British mainland. Land's End being the other.

See http://www.visitjohnogroats.com/ and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_o'_Groats

Why We Like The British

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."

   - The Daily Telegraph

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting a whole salami. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

   - The Manchester Evening News

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

   - The Guardian

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common".

   - The Times

At the height of a gale, the harbourmaster radioed the coastguard and asked for an estimate of the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

   - Aberdeen Evening Express

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"

   - Bournemouth Evening Echo

from uk.rec.humour

The Saint Petersburg Paradox

The St. Petersburg game is played by flipping a fair coin until it comes up tails, and the total number of flips, n, determines the prize, which equals $2^n. Thus if the coin comes up tails the first time, the prize is $2^1 = $2, and the game ends. If the coin comes up heads the first time, it is flipped again. If it comes up tails the second time, the prize is $2^2 = $4, and the game ends. If it comes up heads the second time, it is flipped again. And so on. There are an infinite number of possible 'consequences' (runs of heads followed by one tail) possible. The probability of a consequence of n flips (P(n)) is 1 divided by 2^n, and the 'expected payoff' of each consequence is the prize times its probability. The following table lists these figures for the consequences where n = 1 ... 10:

n	P(n)	Prize	Expected  payoff
1	1/2	$2	$1
2	1/4	$4	$1
3	1/8	$8	$1
4	1/16	$16	$1
5	1/32	$32	$1
6	1/64	$64	$1
7	1/128	$128	$1
8	1/256	$256	$1
9	1/512	$512	$1
10	1/1024	$1024	$1

The 'expected value' of the game is the sum of the expected payoffs of all the consequences. Since the expected payoff of each possible consequence is $1, and there are an infinite number of them, this sum is an infinite number of dollars. A rational gambler would enter a game iff the price of entry was less than the expected value. In the St. Petersburg game, any finite price of entry is smaller than the expected value of the game. Thus, the rational gambler would play no matter how large the finite entry price was. But it seems obvious that some prices are too high for a rational agent to pay to play. Many commentators agree with Hacking's (1980) estimation that “few of us would pay even $25 to enter such a game.” If this is correct—and if most of us are rational—then something has gone wrong with the standard decision-theory calculations of expected value above. This problem, discovered by the Swiss eighteenth-century mathematician Daniel Bernoulli is the St. Petersburg paradox. It's called that because it was first published by Bernoulli in the St. Petersburg Academy Proceedings (1738; English trans. 1954).

See http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/paradox-stpetersburg/

Brackets or hyphens?

Q: What is difference between using brackets and two hyphens?

bla bla (explanation) bla bla

bla bla - explanation - bla bla

A: This is discussed in the Chicago Manual of Style and similar publications. (NB: two hyphens are a typewriter-oriented convention used also by computers because they adopted the typewriter keyboard, with a hyphen (en dash) but no em dash as used by typesetters. This is also discussed in comprehensive style manuals.)

The advantage of such investigation is that, when we reach a decision differing from the style manual, we can offer our factual reasons and propose its debate in NGs like this.

By the way, a hyphen is not an en dash. See the Merriam-Webster Standard American Style Manual for a full discussion of the dash in all its lengths.

from alt.usage.english

Mad as a Hatter

The term "mad as a hatter" will forever be linked to the madcap milliner in Lewis Carroll's classic children's book, Alice in Wonderland. But few actually know that the true origin of the saying relates to a disease peculiar to the hat making industry in the 1800s. A mercury solution was commonly used during the process of turning fur into felt, which caused the hatters to breathe in the fumes of this highly toxic metal, a situation exacerbated by the poor ventilation in most of the workshops. This led in turn to an accumulation of mercury in the workers' bodies, resulting in symptoms such as trembling (known as "hatters' shakes"), loss of coordination, slurred speech, loosening of teeth, memory loss, depression, irritability and anxiety -- "The Mad Hatter Syndrome." The phrase is still used today to describe the effects of mercury poisoning, albeit from other sources.

See http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_history/38288.html

Interesting Questions

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

1. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
3. Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
4. Why is abbreviated such a long word?
5. Why is a boxing ring square?
6. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
7. Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?
8. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
9. Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on Start?
10. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
11. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
12. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
13. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
14. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
15. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
16. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
17. If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
18. If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?
19. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
20. What do people in China call their good plates?
21. What do you call a male ladybug?
22. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
23. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
24. Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only 1 bra?
25. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
26. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
27. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
28. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
29. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
30. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
31. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
32. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
33. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
34. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of it?
35. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
36. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
37. If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
38. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
39. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
40. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
41. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
42. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
43. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
44. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

See http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/7222.htm

Rutherford

Ernest Rutherford, 1st Baron Rutherford of Nelson OM PC FRS (30 August 1871 – 19 October 1937), widely referred to as Lord Rutherford, was a chemist (B.Sc. in chemistry and geology 1894, Canterbury College, New Zealand) and a physicist who became known as the "father" of nuclear physics.

He pioneered the orbital theory of the atom through his discovery of Rutherford scattering off the nucleus with his gold foil experiment. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1908.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford

The Ellipsis

An ellipsis [ … ] proves to be a handy device when you're quoting material and you want to omit some words. The ellipsis consists of three evenly spaced dots (periods) with spaces between the ellipsis and surrounding letters or other marks. Let's take the sentence, "The ceremony honored twelve brilliant athletes from the Caribbean who were visiting the U.S." and leave out "from the Caribbean who were":

   The ceremony honored twelve brilliant athletes … visiting the U.S.

If the omission comes after the end of a sentence, the ellipsis will be placed after the period, making a total of four dots. … See how that works? Notice that there is no space between the period and the last character of the sentence.

See full article at http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/ellipsis.htm

Grammar Lesson - never end a sentence with a preposition.

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work.  So eventually the doctor refers him to an old Gypsy medicine woman.

The medicine woman says, "I can cure this."  That said, she throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.  She collects the ash, then she says, "This is powerful medicine.  You can only use it once a year.  All you have to do is say 123"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?". The medicine woman replies:  "All you or your partner has to say is 1234. But be warned - it will not work again for another year!"

Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess.  That night he is ready to surprise Joyce.  He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion.  He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123."  He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life just as the medicine woman had promised.

Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"

And that, my friends, is why you should never end a sentence with a preposition.

from uk.rec.humour